Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to the Walls of Sparta. It's a podcast dedicated to authentic stories of men overcoming adversity by demonstrating strength, leadership, and healthy masculinity. I'm your host, Greg Papanicholas, and you can find me on social media, on Facebook, YouTube, and @gregpcoach on Instagram. Sparta is famously known as the ancient city of elite warriors. These legendary men defended their homeland with such vigor that they them became the walls. The show honors that legacy by showing men how we can remove our barriers and build true inner strength while promoting healthy masculinity and family and in business. The Walls of Sparta is sponsored by the Sparta Code. If you're a former athlete, elite business executive, or entrepreneur and you know what you're capable of, but it feels like you've lost that edge lately, you're not alone.
Our society is rapidly evolving, and those of us who hold on to traditional values can have a hard time keeping our tools sharp on our own. That's why we created the spartacode. It's a brotherhood of men who value strength, family, and leadership. And above all else, we are committed to stepping into our true purpose and leaving a lasting legacy. We're on a mission now to impact the lives of 1,000 men in the next five years. So if you have a burning desire in your soul to return to greatness you once felt, it's time to start living by the Sparta code and get the code now. @coachgregp.com Today's guest is Andre Parody, who is a relationship coach, and he transforms lives from confusion and misunderstanding to ease and joy in love relationships. Andre, welcome to Wallace of Sparta, man. How you doing?
[00:01:47] Speaker B: Good. Good morning. That was a beautiful intro, by the way. I love what you're up to. It's a lot. A big part of what I do as well with men. Men's work. Incredibly important right now in our culture. Yeah.
[00:01:56] Speaker A: Yes, it definitely is. Definitely is. I'm glad to have you on and talk about it. So we opened up every show with a leading question, and this question is, what is the best way to exhibit healthy masculinity in our relationships?
[00:02:12] Speaker B: Wow. This. Okay, let me see.
I want to show you something. I'm. I don't. My background is in. I. I was originally a ballroom dancer. Yeah, right. Turned into a commercial jazz dancer. Michael Jackson, Prince Paul Abdul. You know, I was. I made it to the top in Los Angeles. 1%. But I come from ballroom beginnings as a teenager. And so I'm gonna show you this. Look at behind me. This is my wife and I. Ballroom Dancing.
[00:02:43] Speaker A: Oh, wow.
[00:02:44] Speaker B: You see that? So that is a perfect metaphors for relationships and appropriate masculine, feminine, right? To, to dance as a couple. There's a ying yang to it, right? There's a masculine, feminine to it. So as a leader in the dance with my wife in the frame, right? I have to lead her. It's not, it's not, you know, it's not a political statement. It's just is if they want the dance to happen, somebody's got a lead and somebody's got to support the lead, right? So healthy relationship, healthy masculinity is to have, get this. As I'm dancing with my wife, I need to be a strong leader because the moment I get, the moment I forget what I'm doing because I'm in charge, right? Of where I'm going to take her, which way I'm going to go around this couple, around the stable, right? Watch the wall kind of thing, right? There's they say I'm driving this entire thing completely and moment to moment. So I'm like two, two seconds ahead of my own brain, planning where we're going, how I'm going to do, right? It's kind of fantastic. It goes really fast in here.
However, the moment that I go, wait, what, like for like a brain fart? Like a little second of like, I kind of didn't pay attention or just one second, the moment I do it, my wife goes stiff. The whole body goes, oh, right. Which is the dance of masculine feminine. As a man, you know, if you're a strong leader, the woman can be actually relaxed in your arms, in your space, in your life, in your house, feeling safe. Women need to feel safe in order for them to slip into their feminine. So what I'm saying to you is as a leader, which is what we're talking about, male, I have to be on my, I have to be solid. I have to be, you know, able to lead appropriately. However, I also need a certain level of sensitivities because I'm telling you, as a dancer, I could actually hurt her. I could overlead her, I could crank her shoulder, I could hurt her arm, in her shoulder, I could hurt her.
Which means she's not going to want to dance with me, right? You see it. So I, I, I need to be a strong leader with sensitivities for her to feel safe with me, relax and be vulnerable to my leadership. That with where she can relax into it. She's vulnerable now. The opposite of control, which is what I'm doing, is vulnerability. So she gets to be vulnerable to my leadership, willingly, happily feeling safe. And the moment she does that, she's completely free. She has nothing to plan, she has nothing to think about. She has nothing to calculate. She can be completely in the flow. Feminine flow. Right. And within that, instantly, you know this. You've seen ballroom couples dance instantly she radiates and shines. And now she's happy. I make, I make her squeal. I surprise her still. Right. We've been together for like three decades when. So my leadership is essential for her to slip into her feminine and again. And everyone's looking at her. Nobody's looking at me. Like I'm doing all the work on some level, but she's the one that shines through it. That's a yin yang. My masculinity allows her to slip into a feminine where she's loves. She's at her best as I'm in my best. I love leading and she loves to support my lead and follow me in the dance. Ta da. That's the relationship. That's what I'm teaching.
[00:06:05] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think that's a great way to describe it with the dancing. And I kind of feel like you hit on something really important is like the shine. That's something that they, they, they love to feel that. And when you step away, you're not necessarily sitting there thinking, oh, I need to be in the shadow right now. But it's, it's more about when she needs to shine. That's. She's in her healthy femininity when she wants to glow. Well, work, that's a perfect analogy.
[00:06:31] Speaker B: And it's up to me. It's something. She can't glow if she doesn't feel safe. She can't glow if she's, you know, doesn't trust me. She can't flow glow if, if she's like. I'm not really sure if he's really going to be able to, you know, navigate this, like in every part of life. Like, if a woman, if the leadership isn't strong and predictable. Right. Say what you said you're going to do. Do what you say you're going to do, right? Be a man of your word. All the stuff that makes a woman feel okay, like, he's got good character. He's. He knows who he is. Right. He's confident. All the things that women find attractive. And if I, if we don't show up in this way, women become masculine. They have to take care of themselves. They have to fight for themselves. They have to compete for themselves. Right. Which is what the culture is teaching them. It's good and it's terrible at the same time. It's good for money and business. But in relationships, you have to change gear. Most people in our culture don't even understand that. Change gear as a woman, if you want to be with a masculine man. Man. If you don't make women feel safe, you get nothing. Like, not one woman. Nothing, nothing. Nothing's gonna happen between you and a woman if she doesn't feel safe. And that means show up like a king. Show up with confidence. Show up with having your life put together. Right? Like, women are attracted to strength. And it could be financial strength, it could be physical strength, it could be spirit, like mental strength, whatever. Whatever mojo you have. You could be 5 foot 4 as a dude, but you're a freaking genius, Right? Or you're super smart lawyer. Whatever. That's strength to a woman, right? So whatever. Women are attracted to strength or a perception of strength. So this is why men have to get their lives together in order for women to go, ah, wow. And, you know, and he can take care of her. He can protect her if you provide for her. And she could be a girl, which this, by the way, that's all they want, most of them. Like, I don't know, one woman. Even if a boss babe who really wants to be boss babe till she dies, she. They want to relax into their feminine and feel safe. That's up to us.
[00:08:40] Speaker A: Yeah. And they're kind of fighting against it. When you look at the way that you see the boss babe sort of campaign now. Yeah. Where now, at this point, the cycle has gone through, and now they're at the point where they're like, okay, I'm tired actually, and this is not something that I want to be doing for the rest of my life. So it's almost like they've gotten to a tipping point and they've made the conscious decision to be like, maybe this isn't my future, and I need to find somebody who can actually lead me and take on that burden of responsibility and stress.
[00:09:10] Speaker B: Every one of my clients, every single one of them, boss babe don't get no need, no man. Strong, independent, and powerful. Right. Big own business. I own my own car, my own business, my own house.
And, you know, and now, like, I'm tired. 35 and up. Right. I'm tired. I don't want to work so hard, and nobody wants to date me. And I'm still pretty young, and I have everything. I don't know why they want to date Me, I'm like, because, honey, you have the bigger balls and you think that's cool. That's not cool. All right? So the one thing I said that's very crass. And again, I just have to say it because they could take it. They're masculine as hell. That says you have to leave your ball to work.
[00:09:45] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:09:46] Speaker B: You have to be a woman in the world for men to see you. Otherwise, you know, when you put your balls in my face, I get. It's irritating, it's off putting. Right. It's Nothing about you is feminine in that. And. And you think that's cool because you women. This is interesting. Women, Women. What women value in us. Strength, power, you know, abilities, you know, confidence, mojo, all that stuff where they. They value in us.
We taught them to be that and they think we should value them for it.
[00:10:16] Speaker A: Right?
[00:10:17] Speaker B: And it's exact opposite. It's. It's completely irritating. Right? If you want to be able to ship with a man, he's not gonna. He's not. He doesn't want you in your masculine. Doesn't want you with your balls in his face and competing with you and fighting with you. Right? The way. Another way I say this, hunters don't date hunters, ladies, right? So be a hunter will work. But become a woman in the world if you want to attract masculine men who want traditionally, will do everything that you want. Provide, protect chairs, give support, lead, pay, pay for everything. That's traditional. Right. So you all. If they still want traditional men. But our culture teaches women to not be traditional, Refuse to be traditional. Okay? And men are like, see ya. Right.
[00:10:59] Speaker A: Right.
[00:10:59] Speaker B: The women are getting married. Get this. The women who are not, you know, getting married or struggling.
[00:11:06] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:11:07] Speaker B: No daddy, bad daddy, alcoholic daddy. Right? No guidance, like, no safety in the world. They didn't feel safe as little girls, so they man up. Beautiful. That's a safety mechanism. But they. They don't end the end that makes them impossible for them to grow into their feminine like a normal girl. And they don't understand why men don't want them, even though they're pretty powerful and, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's not. When that's not what men value. Right? They don't. They don't care about your balls. We don't care about your job, we don't care about your power, we don't care about your money. I have my own.
[00:11:39] Speaker A: Right, right. And that independence, that. That's an important distinction too, because we. You and I were talking about that off, offline before we got on with the sort of 50, 50 relationships and how they're ultimately going to fail. Because you could see that people are going against that natural, that natural, like mojo you're talking about that, that mojo that I'm supposed to be the one that you have to rely on for safety, security, you know, prosperity, growth, all those massive rates. But it's also in. In the fact that if, If, If I were to start to feel as though I needed a place to go to, to vent, I'm not going to go and use that and, and, and break your peace and, and go and disrupt your peace as a woman. I'm gonna go to my brothers and we're gonna get together and talk about the things that we need to talk about to correct something that I may need to do. I feel that's another part of this. There's another layer of that too, where you. You start to see a little bit more of that too, where these, these brotherhoods are starting to grow. Do you feel like that's another thing that's changing around us is the, the dynamics sort of change?
[00:12:50] Speaker B: Yeah, you know, absolutely. And people are waking up to this because men are miserable, women are miserable, right? Women feel abandoned and alone. And, you know, and men are just like, okay, whatever, right? The Me Too movement, all that stuff. Men don't know how to be, where to be. You know how to be. You can't even say to a woman that she's pretty. Oh, that's toxic, right? And if you do that at work, you get fired. So, like, men are just backing out and confused and with stuff, with the men's work that you and I do, that's sort of helping them kind of recalibrate and their confidence, their personality, they're being appropriately masculine, right? I call it devoted masculinity.
It's different than toxic, right? It's not about crushing and taking over at all. But the part that I might. The part that nobody gets necessarily right is that women say in our culture all the time, I want a nice guy. I want a guy who talks to me that, you know, tell, you know, is in. In touch with his feelings. In touch with his feeling and his. No, you don't. No, you don't. The woman, he shows vulnerability, you lose complete respect for him instantly.
Cry in front of your moment. See what happens for her for the rest of the day. She's going to be off balance. Because you appear weak now, doesn't mean that we don't have weak moments. We're men, right? We're human beings. Life Is often a terrible struggle. We carry the world on our shoulders for our families. It's not fear. Fun and easy most of the time it's a, it's a duty. Absolutely happy to do it. But it's not easy. Right. So when women say stuff in our culture is so women say, I want a man who's in touch with his feelings. No you don't. You want a man who's in touch with your feelings. They see the difference and in the end, what happened. So this is basic, basic, you know, men's work information is only a man can help a man with his men problems. So you go to your brothers to, with your struggles and your pains and your confusion and your lack of black, you know, blank, blank, blank, blank, blank. Because as men is the lack of that kills us and kills our spirit. You have this conversation with a man who will support you and say, okay, you feel bad, what are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it? How are you gonna fix it? Handle it? You know what I mean? This is right. So men don't lose respect for you. Men will support men and actually empower them to work it through. You can't be vulnerable with your girlfriends, with your mother, with your wife. She will lose respect for you. And again, they don't want us to be in touch with our feelings. They want us to be in touch with their feelings. So again, the language is wrong here.
[00:15:27] Speaker A: Right.
[00:15:28] Speaker B: So you know, step into work with men, handle your. With men. You know, step into the fire with man. They'll empower you. They'll give you tools, they'll support you, they'll. They'll give you the fire back.
Then the women around you can feel safe. Right. Don't do it with her.
You'll lose her.
[00:15:48] Speaker A: Absolutely. I, I totally agree. That's, that's the important part of why I started the, the brotherhood. Because again those, those connections that have to be made with other, other members.
[00:16:00] Speaker B: Warriors. Warriors.
[00:16:01] Speaker A: Warriors and people that are gonna, you're going to speak to and then they're not necessarily going to give you the answers. They're going to repeat the question back to you and say, look, what do you think you need to do? Yeah, you already know the answer. Inherently, you already know the answer and often you just need to bounce the ideas off. They, they can give you ideas, but they are the ones that have worked from that experience that a woman necessarily hasn't. So they're coming from a different place. And I'm really glad you made that distinction. So Andre, I Want you to tell us how, how you serve people and how people can reach out to you today.
[00:16:38] Speaker B: Beautiful. So my business name, my. My website is Project Equinox.net, right? Project Equinox. Equinox is the perfect balance between day and night. Get it? I thought it was clever, masculine, feminine, right? I'm on all the platforms under Andre Parody and. Or Project Equinox. All the platforms you can. If you Google my name, you'll find everything.
But what I do is, you know, I can't get anybody in a healthy relationships until you, you undo the baggage of your past, typically your childhood, right? Everybody's got trauma in childhood. Nobody gets out of childhood unscathed. But those are the, the drivers that drive us into life. So when you get stuck in the pattern of always the same result, we now know it's you. It's not the world, it's not man, it's no, it's you. You're. You're proving something that's not working for you, right? So for women it's often not lovable, not good. You know, for men it's not good enough. I don't measure up, right? For women is I'm not worthy of love, right? So they man up and it becomes a problem for the guys who are soft. They don't feel their measure up. They're soft. You know me. So, right. So that's the work that I do. We, we basically I clean up the nervous system I use. I'm an NLP practitioner. This is how we actually relieve the trauma from the body, the nervous system. So you can actually think for yourself. Because before that you're just on cruise control with the belief in your head and your perceived reality. Because it's only perceived reality we don't have. There's no such thing as reality anyway. So clean that up and then step into. If you're a woman understanding men, right. I have, I like to say I have the owner's manual. Ladies, I could teach you about men. All the thing that confuses you about us is teachable. It's actually quite simple. It's a different machine. And the same with the man, right? I have the woman's manual for the ladies. So like it's now you, as you learn if you want to be in a relationship with the opposite sex, about the opposite sex, you can actually meet on, on the bridge. Masculine, feminine, man world, woman world. Meet in the, on the bridge, in the middle, after learning some stuff. And now you can start dancing. You know, in the beginning is awkward. You step on Each other's toes. Right. And, and she tries to lead when you're soft and it won't worry. You have to. Correct, correct, correct. So like a ballroom couple. This takes training. This takes years to get to.
Right. So that's the stuff that I do. So the context is really the culture is not going to help you with everything about relationship. The culture right now the, the, the pace of the culture is actually keeping people single forever. It's almost impossible to survive a relationship right now in this competitive, you know, 50, 50. That doesn't work. It doesn't work.
Masculine and feminine relationships are complementary. Complementary, complementary, not equal. One of the thing I, I say is like, you know, whereas equals are genitals.
[00:19:39] Speaker A: Right?
[00:19:39] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Not at all complete and opposite. But I guess they had made to fit. Everything about men and women is made to fit together. What she brings to the table, I don't have. And vice versa. Right. So again, stop fighting nature. Right. But the culture has us all upside down.
So that's my work. And also, you know, if anybody listening is interested, I have a gift for you listeners. I know it's taking us into a long. Is that, is that okay?
[00:20:10] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:20:11] Speaker B: So I have, I do a lot of podcasting because again, my God mission is to teach this to the masses.
The masses. Like not my little client, my business, my one on one like masses, Tony Robbins style. Okay. So but I noticed when I do podcasts explaining the world and hope there's typically two type listeners, which is interesting. So there's listeners that kind of come to the, the circle in. Okay, so I'm kind of confused and it's. Something's not working, but I'm not sure what it is. And what's with that feminine stuff? I, I right. Like trying to kind of start to do, step into the work. So this, I have a gift for ladies. If you're an information seeker, right. This is a book that I wrote. It's called the five feminine qualities High Value Men Find Absolutely irresistible. This, this is men speaking ladies. This is man talking about where they find irresistible. And it's your character traits, not your body, not your butt, not your blonde hair or whatever hair. That's not it. Right. So I sell this on my website. I'll give it, I'll send it free to your listeners if they email me. I'll give you my direct email if they go to Andre Coaching the number one at Gmail. N D R E C O A C H I N G Number one at Gmail and in the subject box just Write irresistible book. I'll send you a copy for free.
Those for information seekers. Right. People are curious, they're listening to you and me. Awesome. I'll reward them. The other type listeners I noticed are people who were more like action takers. Right? What I said, we said something you and I that resonated. Go. Oh wait, some, I want some of that. Right. I'm curious. So if you're an action taker, it takes a little bit of bravery. Andre coaching1gmail.com in the subject box. Right? Talk now. I'll send you my calendar link. You book an hour that's open and we'll have a conversation like you and I having right now for about an hour about where you stuck, what's not working. The loop. We'll find the loop instantly. I'll do that in 15 minutes I'll, I'll decode. I do this all day long. In 15 minutes I'll decode where the wheels came off for you as a child that had you believe something that became the rest of your life. And all your troubles are from that five year old, six year old belief system or decision you made about yourself, the world, life and people. Boom. So that call alone, like it's free. It's on me, right. I charge 400 an hour. This one is free. It's a complimentary for people who are brave, who want to poke around and if, when, when you understand that you're not broken, you're a product of your past.
[00:22:41] Speaker A: Right?
[00:22:42] Speaker B: You're not broken. Right. People come in me like people think they're broken. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? I can never. It's always your pat anyway. So when you understand where the wheels came off as a child, we could fix it again, right? That's what I do. Right. Believe that stuff from your nervous system and then from there, what's the dream? You want kids and a husband, you want a long term relationship. You don't necessarily have to have one marriage, but if you're older, people want. Everybody wants companionship. Everybody, Everyone.
Right. But you can't do it when you're stuck in your. So that call, like I said, it's complimentary and you know, basically from there we'll talk about if the dream is, you know, do you want to step in? Right. And there's different ways to get invested. But even people who don't do anything with me from that call. That call for some people changes their lives. It's liberating. So those are my gifts. Perfect.
[00:23:35] Speaker A: Really appreciate you sharing those. And again, we're going to wrap up here. Thanks to our guest Andre for joining us and sharing his story of masculinity and strength and resilience. You can learn more about what he does by visiting at Project Equinox on Instagram. If you're a man who has battled the demons and live to tell about it, we want to hear from you. Come share your story. On the walls of Sparta, we interview men who overcame adversity by demonstrating strength, leadership, and healthy masculinity. Apply for a future episode by going to the wallsofsparta.com and once again, if you know and I want to feel that greatness again and you have a burning desire to bring it back, get the Sparta code now at coachgregp.
[00:24:19] Speaker B: Com.
