[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to the Walls of Sparta, a podcast dedicated to authentic stories of men.
[00:00:04] Speaker B: Overcoming adversity by demonstrating strength, leadership, and healthy masculinity.
[00:00:10] Speaker A: I'm your host, Greg Pap Nicholas, and.
[00:00:12] Speaker B: You can find me on social media.
[00:00:13] Speaker A: @Greg pcore coach on Instagram.
[00:00:18] Speaker B: You can find me on YouTube as well as Facebook.
[00:00:21] Speaker A: Sparta is famously known as the ancient city of elite warriors. These legendary men defended their homeland with.
[00:00:27] Speaker B: Such vigor that they themselves became the walls.
[00:00:31] Speaker A: This show honors that legacy by showing.
[00:00:33] Speaker B: Men how we can remove our barriers and build true inner strength while promoting healthy masculinity in family and in business.
[00:00:41] Speaker A: The Walls of Sparta is sponsored by the spartacode. If you're a former athlete, elite business executive, or entrepreneur and you know what.
[00:00:48] Speaker B: You'Re capable of, but it feels like you've lost that mojo lately and you feel like your health has taken the back seat, you're not alone. Our society is rapidly evolving, and those of us who want to hold on to traditional values that can have a hard time keeping our tools sharp on our own.
That's why we created the Spartacoad. It's a brotherhood of men who value.
[00:01:08] Speaker A: Strength, fitness, family, and leadership.
[00:01:11] Speaker B: But above all else, we are also.
[00:01:13] Speaker A: Committed to stepping into our true purpose.
[00:01:15] Speaker B: And leaving a lasting legacy. And we're on a mission to impact.
[00:01:19] Speaker A: The lives of 1,000 men in the next five years. So if you have a burning desire in your soul to return to the.
[00:01:26] Speaker B: Greatness you once felt, it's time to start living by the Sparta code. Get the code now@coach gregp.com so, guys.
[00:01:35] Speaker A: Today I want to change it up.
[00:01:36] Speaker B: A little bit because normally what happens is I usually have a guest on, but today I kind of wanted to.
[00:01:42] Speaker A: Flip the script and talk a little.
[00:01:44] Speaker B: Bit about something that's been circulating on social media lately, and that is the overuse of pornography. Now, this is something that comes up a lot in discussion that I've noticed on social, and rightfully so.
[00:02:00] Speaker A: Men have expressed interest in me doing.
[00:02:03] Speaker B: Sort of a quick podcast on this, my sort of take on this. And then of course, what I noticed.
[00:02:11] Speaker A: The other day was there was a.
[00:02:12] Speaker B: Really good written post on a Facebook group that I really wanted to go.
[00:02:19] Speaker A: Through and dissect because it really goes.
[00:02:21] Speaker B: Through the sort of the meat of how to sort of combat the overuse of pornography and how to counteract it, right? Because again, we. We don't want to always sort of live in that constant.
Just our lives don't want to be filled with the hampering and the unfortunate habits that we sort of Feel like we regret we want to have a replacement for the things like pornography because we know how now it affects the brain. We're learning more and more about what that's doing to the brain.
And what I wanted to do today is, was talk a little bit about how to combat it with eroticism, you know, versus the, the pleasure of viewing something like pornography. Instead we're focusing on the feeling, the experience and not necessarily always thinking about, you know, something that we're seeing, always thinking about the flesh know. And I think for a lot of men, they want to change this. This is something they've been wanting to alter in their life, that it really has really been hindering, you know, their ability to enjoy the experience with their, their woman.
[00:03:53] Speaker A: So I want to also mention that.
[00:03:55] Speaker B: This Facebook group wasn't exactly a Facebook.
[00:03:58] Speaker A: Group that I expected to be talking.
[00:04:00] Speaker B: About this kind of thing. So it was kind of weird. I won't say the name of it, but just say it was more spiritual, more of a spiritual nature that we were talking about when it came to this particular topic. But I'm going to kind of run through this guy's post and then sort.
[00:04:17] Speaker A: Of dissect it as we go along.
[00:04:19] Speaker B: Share my thoughts and what I think, at least with my experience, this all sort of means and how we can, we can come to a better place, at least in our own experiences with our relationships sexually when we're not consuming so much porn and instead electing to do a little bit more of the spiritual journey with eroticism and the internal experience of sex.
So it starts out with, when it.
[00:04:52] Speaker A: Comes to eroticism, men often have no.
[00:04:54] Speaker B: Clue how to access it or bombarded with very direct quick release fantasies and.
[00:05:00] Speaker A: Surface level depictions of sexuality that prioritize performance over experience.
[00:05:06] Speaker B: This is very true because porn has taught us that we want to actually act as the porn actor versus really enjoying the experience. So we're doing some sort of role play rather than really feeling like an.
[00:05:19] Speaker A: Outof body experience with which if you get to higher levels of this stuff.
[00:05:22] Speaker B: And a tantra, you know, you can.
[00:05:25] Speaker A: You can really start to see the.
[00:05:27] Speaker B: Benefits of something like that.
[00:05:30] Speaker A: Then it goes on to say, but what about sensuality? What about eroticism as a rich immersive space where men, excuse me, can explore pleasure and touch beyond the usual script?
Where is the space to experience desire.
[00:05:44] Speaker B: Beyond what is readily available on a screen?
[00:05:48] Speaker A: Imagine a different kind of intimacy, one where touch isn't just a means to an end, right?
[00:05:53] Speaker B: It's not about the result, but where.
[00:05:56] Speaker A: Sensation isn't limited to one part of the body, but extends to the skin. The breath and the moments between the.
[00:06:02] Speaker B: The movement. And I'll say this, the.
The. The touch and breath is very underrated when it comes to arousal and how to get your partner to elevate their senses and feel like that, you know.
[00:06:18] Speaker A: Intercourse is more of an experience rather.
[00:06:20] Speaker B: Than just a means to an end.
[00:06:23] Speaker A: Eroticism is not just about arousal.
[00:06:26] Speaker B: It's about curiosity, about listening to the body in ways that aren't dictated by habit.
[00:06:32] Speaker A: What does it feel like to trace your skin and notice how warmth spreads.
[00:06:36] Speaker B: With the right kind of touch? And this, you know, for me, my experiences, I enjoy nails across my body, especially, you know, when we're talking about this kind of experience with, you know, your partner.
How does breath change the way we.
[00:06:52] Speaker A: How actual pleasure builds? What happens when you indulge in anticipation rather than seeking an immediate conclusion?
[00:06:59] Speaker B: Let me read that again.
[00:07:01] Speaker A: What happens when you indulge in anticipation rather than seeking an immediate conclusion?
[00:07:07] Speaker B: And I was talking about this the other day with my wife, and. Throughout the week, we like to do.
[00:07:13] Speaker A: Things to build anticipation.
[00:07:15] Speaker B: So if we. If we're just busy throughout the week and we know it and we can't sort of fit these types of experiences, you know, in our schedule, then we try to do little things along the way.
You know, touching each other in a certain way.
I like to come into the kitchen when she's cooking and, well, let's just say I like to sneak up on her and, you know, touch her neck, touch her body, touch her butt, things like that. Breathe on her neck, kiss, things like that. That sort of, you know, allow the.
[00:07:50] Speaker A: Partner to still know that they're appreciated.
[00:07:52] Speaker B: And show, you know, just a little bit of infection, affection. When throughout the week, we could just. That's like the last thing we're thinking about because we're so wrapped up in ourselves, in our own, you know, our own regular stresses and anxieties.
So I think that's important because that.
[00:08:12] Speaker A: In itself builds anticipation and you're not always focused on the end result.
[00:08:18] Speaker B: A lot of times when guys especially are thinking about it and they, you know, get that first touch from a woman, especially their partner, they're like, okay, it's time. Like, they're right immediately in the mood to, you know, have sex at that moment. But what we are trying to do more of, at least, you know, as men, is build the anticipation, because your partner is not always going to be in the right frame of mind at that particular point to just drop everything right now, it happens, believe me, it happens when you're.
[00:08:50] Speaker A: When you're spontaneous.
[00:08:51] Speaker B: But you.
[00:08:52] Speaker A: If you know how to read her.
[00:08:54] Speaker B: Signals, you can kind of realize that, hey, you know, she's letting you know that she likes it and that.
[00:09:02] Speaker A: That anticipation is going a long way.
[00:09:04] Speaker B: With building more and more sexual tension as the week goes by. Good sexual tension, not bad sexual tension. So that's something to keep in mind.
[00:09:11] Speaker A: Do some little things throughout the week to build that anticipation.
[00:09:15] Speaker B: Don't give it away immediately. The woman doesn't want to give it away immediately.
[00:09:20] Speaker A: You shouldn't just dive right in and say, okay, it's time.
[00:09:23] Speaker B: Right?
[00:09:23] Speaker A: Anticipation is everything.
[00:09:27] Speaker B: So it goes on to say, and.
[00:09:28] Speaker A: Beyond the physical, what about the mind?
How a word can stir something deep inside. How a thought, a story, a whisper can shift arousal from surface level to profound.
[00:09:40] Speaker B: I can't remember what I'd actually said to my wife one morning, but I whispered, and immediately she just flipped right over, got on top, and we were just right at it. And I don't think that was something that entered my head that I was planning on saying, but it resonated with her in much more than just an arousal. Like, she actually ended up getting a tear when she was, you know, when we were in the middle of it, and she couldn't believe that I, you.
[00:10:06] Speaker A: Know, was saying the things I was saying.
[00:10:09] Speaker B: But again, the.
[00:10:10] Speaker A: Sometimes just that whisper of a word of encouragement or something that really reaches.
[00:10:15] Speaker B: Her on deeper level can really have a positive impact.
So it says, the imagination is an.
[00:10:21] Speaker A: Erotic space often untapped and often overlooked. How much more could be discovered if.
[00:10:26] Speaker B: We allowed ourselves to go there?
This is one of the things that I wanted to touch on because especially if we're always thinking about the visual when it comes to pornography, we're not focused on the inner experience. The. The. The real feeling of building up life energy and that. That feeling that we're getting arousal out of something that we aren't a part of because we want to be a.
[00:10:55] Speaker A: Part of the experience. But with porn, we're not.
[00:10:57] Speaker B: We're watching someone else have the experience.
So when we're. When we're, let's say, masturbating.
What I've noticed in my own life is when I do erotic. The erotic version of that.
[00:11:13] Speaker A: And it's more about sounds, it's more about music, it's more about my imagination.
[00:11:19] Speaker B: I start to think about and imagining very erotic scenes in my. My own life and, you know, the feeling of touch from, you know, my.
[00:11:29] Speaker A: Partner and an experience that maybe we've had before or something that we haven't done yet, Right?
[00:11:34] Speaker B: Something a little bit more risque that.
[00:11:36] Speaker A: You and your partner haven't done yet or haven't experienced.
[00:11:38] Speaker B: But you're thinking about it. You're really deepening that meditation, that ability to meditate.
And when I say meditate, I mean go deep. I mean, like, think about the colors.
[00:11:52] Speaker A: Of the room you're in, the smells.
[00:11:55] Speaker B: Her scent, like how she's breathing, like, really get detailed. And you can really. What I always find is the more I practice that, and I can touch on how to do that on another podcast, how that goes such a long way in really getting the.
[00:12:14] Speaker A: The experience is very, very erotic when you really focus on sights, sounds, and.
[00:12:20] Speaker B: Having your own experience rather than watching someone else.
Here's another part that I wanted to talk about.
[00:12:26] Speaker A: Erotic literature and sensual films can offer men a gateway into this hidden territory.
[00:12:32] Speaker B: And that's not talking about porn or.
[00:12:35] Speaker A: Quick fixes, but stories that invite us into deeper, more affluent layers of desire.
[00:12:40] Speaker B: My wife is really into a lot erotic literature.
[00:12:43] Speaker A: So when she picks up a book.
[00:12:45] Speaker B: And I know she's reading it, I.
[00:12:47] Speaker A: Can see, I can sense when she's.
[00:12:49] Speaker B: In that sort of headspace. And when she picks up a erotic.
[00:12:53] Speaker A: Literature book, there's a guarantee that, you.
[00:12:55] Speaker B: Know, we're probably having sex at least, you know, three to four, maybe even five times a week.
Because she's just in that headspace, you know, at night she's thinking about it.
[00:13:06] Speaker A: She sees me walk past and she's.
[00:13:07] Speaker B: Giving me that look. And I know it's, you know, on her mind.
And when, if that's building along with the sort of, you know, those gestures throughout the week, the touch, the kissing, and all the things you're doing in between throughout the week, you know that it's going to build even more.
So I'll stop it here because again, there's a lot.
[00:13:33] Speaker A: He goes into a lot of this.
[00:13:34] Speaker B: And I could do a part two, but definitely a thing to think about.
[00:13:40] Speaker A: With this particular Facebook post in my.
[00:13:42] Speaker B: Own sort of take on kind of getting an umbrella view, or I guess.
[00:13:53] Speaker A: They could say the 40,000 foot view.
[00:13:55] Speaker B: Of where we should be with eroticism versus consuming, you know, consumption of an excess of porn all the time.
[00:14:07] Speaker A: I think the more this changes in.
[00:14:09] Speaker B: Relationships, the better off the experiences will.
[00:14:12] Speaker A: Be for both partners.
[00:14:13] Speaker B: It's. It's something that I think needs to be healed because if people are talking about it, it's something that's on the mind of the masses and we should really think about how we're working towards that on a day to day basis. And I can get into this deeper on other podcasts, but I wanted to kind of give the, the overall view of the importance of how to counteract it with eroticism, right. Rather than the consumption of watching, you know, someone else enjoy the experience. We are literally going inside of ourselves.
[00:14:50] Speaker A: And focusing on the sensations, right, not just on the surface level of our.
[00:14:55] Speaker B: Skin, but really deep down, reaching the core of, you know, a woman's soul and really getting deep into the parts of her that maybe you haven't touched yet. And maybe she's waiting on that, maybe she's anticipating that.
And maybe you can throw her off every now and then in a good way and surprise her, which I think I want to touch on in the next couple of episodes that we do in between the interviews.
Anyway, that's what I wanted to kind of like touch on today, just because it's such a hot topic with, with porn. And I've seen a lot of people, you know, wanting to have a little.
[00:15:38] Speaker A: Bit more understanding and analysis on how to counteract it.
[00:15:41] Speaker B: Because again, what you see on social media is a lot of, well, I'm building, I have this issue and my husband is doing this and, you know, it. It's. You don't have any solutions out there. You just have people saying, well, porn's bad, but you don't have anybody out there trying to come up with an alternative for you. And that's what I want to get on the subject of, you know, erotic sort of that, you know, erotic and transcendental, if you want to call it, to use a, you know, a deeper word, but more of a meditative masturbation that I think, you know, a lot of people, in lieu of porn can really utilize. And for me, I think, you know, being from the era of, you know, Generation X where we didn't have, we didn't have access to these things, they weren't something that, you know, you, you could just go on the Internet and search. So if you're lucky, you know, you.
[00:16:45] Speaker A: Had somebody, a friend that had porn.
[00:16:47] Speaker B: But like, look, if it wasn't exactly available to us, so what did we have to do? We had to use those, we had.
[00:16:55] Speaker A: To use those techniques back then to.
[00:16:57] Speaker B: Really enjoy the experience of self pleasure, right? And that's one of the things that I think we could gain back as men. You know, that feeling of how that was really something monumental when we were, you know, young and, and going through.
[00:17:15] Speaker A: Those first couple of years of, oh.
[00:17:17] Speaker B: My God, this is.
[00:17:18] Speaker A: This is different.
[00:17:18] Speaker B: This is a different feeling for me. But how to gain that back and.
[00:17:22] Speaker A: Learn even more in the process so.
[00:17:24] Speaker B: We can really expand our knowledge and expand our experience.
[00:17:29] Speaker A: That therefore improves and expands the experience.
[00:17:32] Speaker B: Of intercourse and enjoying it with our loved ones. So, guys, that's all for today.
Just wanted to do that solo.
Quick. Very quick. Hopefully it was quick. These are usually quick episodes, but if that was long, I apologize.
Again, guys, if you're a man who battled the demons and lived to tell about it, we want to hear from you.
[00:17:55] Speaker A: So come share your story.
[00:17:56] Speaker B: On the walls of Sparta, we interview men who overcame adversity by demonstrating strength, leadership, and healthy masculinity.
[00:18:05] Speaker A: So apply for a future episode by.
[00:18:07] Speaker B: Going to wallsofsparta.com and once again, if you know how greatness feels and you have a burning desire to bring it back, get the Sparta code
[email protected] Guys, thanks for joining us. On the walls of Sparta, Remember, victory is near.
